Glenn Campbell's tweet archive, searching for "god"

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Dates: after but on or before format: 2013-11-07
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Also try official twitter search for "god" in @BadDalaiLama - @KilroyCafe - @BadLamaArt. (Word must be exact. Includes reader replies but not BDL retweets.)

Searching the archives for both @BadDalaiLama and @KilroyCafe for Glenn Campbell's tweets. Click on date to view original tweet on Twitter. Search is based on the downloaded archive, which is updated about every two weeks, so this search may not include the most recent tweets. Multi-line tweets may not be complete in this listing. See our Twitter Overview for more info. Help give these tweets new life by retweeting the ones you like.

1: 2016-11-16: Roving bands of neo-Nazis assaulting immigrants and worshiping President Trump as their God. #unlikelysciencefiction #couldnthappenhere
2: 2016-05-02: Lessons of the Pyramids: It's amazing what you can do when you have a huge indentured labor force dedicated to gods you created.
3: 2015-08-12: We Agnostics have to stand together against the Atheist scourge. What proof do they have that there is no God?
4: 2015-08-12: God's missed opportunity (source unknown) http://t.co/ZspTUqVC2I
5: 2015-04-07: "Rather than me forgiving your sins, I would really prefer you didn't sin to begin with." ~ God
6: 2015-04-05: Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, God.
7: 2015-03-30: Those goddamn regressing telomeres are pushing me toward my Hayflick limit!
8: 2015-03-06: “moralizing high gods (MHGs) helped societies outgrow their limited ability to police, by threatening freeloaders with retribution” @sciam
9: 2015-01-16: Empowered by faith in God, there is no end to the atrocities one can commit.
10: 2014-12-16: You thank God for saving you from a near catastrophe, but who else except God placed it in your path?
11: 2014-12-07: People invent God because they need a witness—someone to see what they are doing and pass judgment on it.
12: 2014-11-21: God's cleverest gift to man was the placebo effect. After that, He could take credit for everything without doing anything at all.
13: 2014-09-19: RT @TheTweetOfGod: I am God. I had a son. He was also Me. He was a man, though. I had him killed. He came back. I did it to save you from h…
14: 2014-09-10: The job of God is to listen to your every prayer and monitor your every action, as though you were God.
15: 2014-08-30: Daleks—evil, murderous, canister vacuum cleaner Daleks—just purchased the Tim Hortons donut chain of Canada. God save the Canadians!
16: 2014-08-17: RT @Peripatetia: Godzilla is to Tokyo what Doctor Who is to London.
17: 2014-08-11: Some people like to wake up and do the same things every day. God love 'em! It should be on their tombstone: "Did the same thing every day."
18: 2014-08-02: You don't have to believe in God, but it doesn't hurt to hedge your bets and be good anyway.
19: 2014-08-01: Humans have a natural genetic need to take care of vulnerable little creatures. So God created pets.
20: 2014-07-16: Anyone who prays for God's help in making decisions shouldn't be making your decisions.
21: 2014-07-04: RT @bybeautydamned: When fate, or karma, or god, or whatever you call it, doesn't give you what you want or gives you pain instead, assume …
22: 2014-05-28: Grave of three unknown sailors washed ashore in Seaside, Oregon. "Known Only To God" (yesterday) http://t.co/gpxH2ErSSR
23: 2014-05-19: Great-Grandpa's advice on social media: "I don't need no goddamn telephone! If I want to talk to someone I just go over and talk to 'em!"
24: 2014-05-13: "Thanking God for sparing you in a natural disaster is like sending a thank-you note to a serial killer for stabbing the family next door."
25: 2014-05-10: And then God decreed that contraception was a sin and that the stupidest people would have the most babies.
26: 2014-05-03: The trouble with decisions based on faith is it's hard to distinguish God's intent from your own emotional convenience.
27: 2014-04-30: Every country has its conservatives, demanding a return to traditional values that never really existed while invoking God in their support.
28: 2014-04-27: @ThatsWright You are the Grumps Goddess, the source of all life and meaning in the universe.
29: 2014-03-01: “I believe in the God-given right to the pursuit of unhappiness. That is why I support gay marriage.” Via @GeorgeTakei
30: 2014-02-16: It was God's will. ==> Snake-handling reality show preacher dies from snakebite http://t.co/y25zywYzf1 via @TIME
31: 2014-02-14: @HumanBeam Oh God I can't decide. Too many choices!
32: 2014-02-06: You go to church, you pray to God, you ask for forgiveness. That doesn't mean you have taken responsibility.
33: 2014-02-04: "I am gonna goddamn frame your tweet about moving dysfunctional people out of our worlds." - re: @BadDalaiLama http://t.co/qPYeHJtYGl
34: 2014-01-21: Thank God for procreation.
35: 2014-01-19: God is not happy.
36: 2014-01-13: If you give someone the power of God over others, pretty soon they begin to act like it.
37: 2013-12-30: Whatever God may be, He is not a micro-manager. You have to grant the locals some control and risk or they won't do a damn thing.
38: 2013-12-27: Does God have regrets? Does He ever lie awake at night wondering, "What have I done?"
39: 2013-12-19: If I were God I'd say: "Don't worship me; just be good. If you have a problem, work it out. I create universes not micromanage your life."
40: 2013-12-11: God's biggest problem is all the people on earth who claim to be acting on His behalf.
41: 2013-12-01: The benefits of being "good" are personal and practical and do not require a God looking over your shoulder.
42: 2013-11-26: I'm not saying there isn't any God. I'm just saying if there wasn't a God, people would have to make one up to serve their emotional needs.
43: 2013-10-23: "OMG, there is no god!" - The verdict on God near Times Square (yesterday)
44: 2013-10-17: God Bless America – because a supreme, omnipotent being doesn't know who to bless unless we tell him.
45: 2013-09-29: Garden of the Gods, Colorado (2 days ago) - new album: http://t.co/BoSBL0cvL4
46: 2013-09-28: 6-second Vines are too fast for comfortable viewing. They make me queasy. 15-second Instagram videos are just right. What God intended.
47: 2013-09-27: Garden of the Gods, Colorado - 360° panorama http://t.co/7Xl9a3tGKT = http://t.co/infEuvJ4Th
48: 2013-09-27: Just posted a photo @ Garden of the Gods http://t.co/2iuY45zkNb
49: 2013-09-24: No commandments from God are required to treat others with respect and courtesy, only foresighted self-interest.
50: 2013-09-10: On My Bucket List: Prove my worthiness to God through self-flagellation. @ Ephrata Cloister http://t.co/oBFfLh3lW2
51: 2013-08-21: Every time I take a shower, my microbiome cries, "Oh no, dear God, no! You're killing us!"
52: 2013-08-19: @UnimpressedInEd Atheist carries a connotation of negation. "All gods are false". It implies you've tested every claim. Why not "agnostic"?
53: 2013-08-18: The only thing more absurd than believing in a God you have not seen is believing that no unseen gods can possibly exist.
54: 2013-08-18: Religiosity includes atheists assembling in groups to proselytize their absolute faith that no gods or spiritual forces exist.
55: 2013-06-20: "As Seen on TV" makes the claims true and credible for the majority of the population, as though handed down by God.
56: 2013-06-15: Godwin's Law: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1."
57: 2013-05-31: New Pope admits, "We're all just guessing about God."
58: 2013-05-22: If God had intended us to have ethanol in our gasoline, he would not have killed the dinosaurs.
59: 2013-05-22: I would be willing to trust in God's plan if Christians could agree on what that plan is.
60: 2013-05-11: Career advice: If you are given the chance to be God, politely refuse the job offer. No matter what you do, you just can't win.
61: 2013-05-06: Once we prayed to God to give us what we want. Now we pray to Google! http://t.co/hyhtTNFFAA
62: 2013-04-30: God, if He exists, builds systems and lets them run. He is not a big interventionist.
63: 2013-04-21: In the Beginning, God created God. (Because you have to start someplace!)
64: 2013-04-19: Man is God to dog.
65: 2013-04-12: The greatest gift of God is the placebo effect. Pray to Him and he may give you what you want.
66: 2013-04-02: Those who pray for God's help in a crisis would rather not know what they are doing wrong. They want it to be God's problem.
67: 2013-03-31: RT @NIETZSCHESOURCE: I cannot believe in a god who wants to be praised all the time #NIETZSCHE
68: 2013-03-21: Not being British, I don't think I will ever be able to urge God to save the queen with any convincing sincerity.
69: 2013-03-19: Don’t bother trying to read God’s mind. If the universe has intention, you are probably too small to deduce it.
70: 2013-03-10: Whatever your religion, the architecture must be epic, to show the people the power of your God.
71: 2013-02-27: RT @jaydixit: How @SilverJacket can guess whether you believe in God based on your answer to a math question. http://t.co/NP8SN8bVsH #re ...
72: 2013-02-09: Jesus had to die, be resurrected, go to Heaven and sit at the right hand of God before his account got any significant retweets.
73: 2013-01-20: RT @DostoevskyDaily: “#Existentialism declares that even if God did exist, that would change nothing.”
74: 2013-01-19: The trouble with Christians is they take the Bible as a bible, as though it was written by God and not a series of storytellers.
75: 2013-01-19: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." - Proverbs 3:5 <== Um, not! God wants you to play dumb?
76: 2013-01-15: The ship has to actually be sinking, the band playing “Nearer My God to Thee,” before some passengers are willing to jettison their baggage.
77: 2013-01-15: It takes a while to see our parents for who they really are: not gods but kids like us who got in over their heads.
78: 2013-01-02: The Christian story is inspirational because it tells us anyone can be Jesus. You just have to be the Son of God.
79: 2012-12-24: How does joining a convent have anything to do with God? It's not God telling you what to do but other nuns.
80: 2012-12-23: Best thing the NRA can do right now is resurrect Charlton Heston. At least that would prove God is on their side.
81: 2012-12-17: Ambrosia, the perfectly designed food of the gods, is known in America as the Nacho Cheese Dorito. (*based on sales)
82: 2012-12-15: RT @Neuro_Skeptic: Would Tarzan believe in God? http://t.co/mWUI9yk2 "Many scholars would say yes: cognitive biases generate religious i ...
83: 2012-12-13: God, aliens and psychic phenomena, if they exist, are keeping a low profile. Until they come out, we have to conduct our lives without them.
84: 2012-12-13: God is irrelevant to my life. I can make good decisions without Him. Whether He exists is irrelevant too. Why should we care? #agnostic
85: 2012-12-13: .@afoolswisdom Where does one get this information? The only way to prove the nonexistence of God is some form of... faith!
86: 2012-12-12: @lawnrocket Then use a diff't word. God gave us 140 for a reason.
87: 2012-12-10: Film Facts of Life: God gave man 24fps. Don't incur His wrath by messing with it.
88: 2012-12-09: RT @HLMenckenBot: Why assume the God who created the universe is still running it? It's conceivable He finished and turned it over to le ...
89: 2012-11-09: The trouble with being a god is people expect you to solve all their problems. That's why gods like to keep a low profile.
90: 2012-11-04: Parenthood turns little people into gods.
91: 2012-11-03: A god says something off-the-cuff. Doesn't mean a lot by it. But the people take it as a divine message. God goes "Oops!"
92: 2012-10-14: RT @KilroyCafe: Religion is the ultimate refuge of the narcissist: "God is there for ME."
93: 2012-10-12: RT @aristosophy: Create perverse incentives for God #lifehacks
94: 2012-09-11: During the economic crisis of 2008, Americans became prudent, responsible spenders. Thank God the economy recovered!
95: 2012-09-03: Self-flagellation is for sissies. To test their true discipline and faith in God, monks and nuns should hold celibate sleepovers.
96: 2012-08-27: The hardest part about being God must be listening to all those prayers. I mean, Jesus Christ, can't these people take care of themselves?
97: 2012-08-25: Tibetan monks are famous for sleeping in extreme cold with only the lightest covering. It's not just godliness but natural bodily systems.
98: 2012-08-16: The most important responsibility of gods and aliens is to not give people false hope.
99: 2012-08-13: God is a placebo pill—a comfort to some but not curing any major disease.
100: 2012-07-18: Freedom is a godsend to some but a curse to most, who only use it to indulge their addictions.
101: 2012-07-17: Gods have higher responsibilities than relieving current suffering. They have to understand future suffering.
102: 2012-07-09: The destiny of a god or superhero is to be cursed by the people who worship him when he fails to live up to their impossible expectations.
103: 2012-07-09: When people are gods to us, it usually means we don't understand them.
104: 2012-07-08: RT @KilroyCafe: Doesn't it seem a little presumptuous to pray to God and ask him to do stuff? Shouldn't He know the right thing to do wi ...
105: 2012-06-02: If God is truly just, he will judge you only on your behavior and not on whether you believe in Him.
106: 2012-06-02: Asking for God's blessing is like pleading with the judges of American Idol to choose you regardless of your performance.
107: 2012-06-02: "God Bless America" — Isn't it arrogant to tell God what to do? If He is omnipotent, shouldn't He already know who deserves His blessings?
108: 2012-06-02: In the Bible, God told man to go forth and multiply, but He also killed off most of those babies in childhood. What is Your will now, God?
109: 2012-05-28: One step closer to God. (@ Utah/Colorado Border) [pic]: http://t.co/6h8a0G35
110: 2012-05-27: RT @KilroyCafe: The biggest cosmic joke of all would be that God exists but He couldn't care less about us. We would be alone after all!
111: 2012-05-27: RT @KilroyCafe: The ants must see us as gods. They can't fathom why we step on them, but they must figure it's part of our cosmic plan.
112: 2012-05-08: .@heartlessX0 Nieces and nephews are awesome! All you have to do is babysit a few times and you're a god!
113: 2012-05-08: ♫ Pack your bags it's time to go... That's all folks, end of show... Find your god and make it right... Cuz soon your planet's outta sight!♫
114: 2012-04-18: Tokyo goes on FOREVER! Godzilla and Ghidorah combined, rampaging for years, could hardly lay waste to a fraction of it.
115: 2012-04-11: I don't distrust God, just the people He hangs out with.
116: 2012-04-08: I don't believe in God but still have the conviction that He gave me this life to do something with.
117: 2012-04-04: "Oh, God, why have you forsaken me?" Honestly, that's the only thing He can do. If He intervenes, then you become dependent on him.
118: 2012-04-03: In the midst of a crisis, people often find God. This God may not be real, but the soothing effects are.
119: 2012-04-03: Although I don't believe in God, I still believe "everything happens for a reason". That's apophenia at work.
120: 2012-04-03: Apophenia could be seen as the basis for religion. In random natural events, you see the hand of God.
121: 2012-03-30: If I were God and people prayed to me for stuff, I'd be like, "I may be omnipotent, but I'm not going to walk into THAT quagmire!"
122: 2012-03-27: Rich people's church. A little closer to God than the rest of us will ever get. (@ Bethesda-By-The-Sea Church) [pic]: http://t.co/m7CF9jVd
123: 2012-03-25: The God who designed and created us is Evolution. Sometimes He makes sense and sometimes He just pulls stuff out of His ass.
124: 2012-03-08: Self-flagellating monks won't get into Heaven. A just God would say, "You only hurt yourselves, nimrods! You didn't do one good work."
125: 2012-03-08: Only a vengeful God would demand pain for every pain inflicted. A smart one would say, "It's okay, I forgive you, BUT DON'T DO IT AGAIN."
126: 2012-03-07: Self-flagellating monks are atoning for their sins. They assume God will look down, see their suffering and elevate them accordingly.
127: 2012-03-07: Mesquite, Nevada: Last chance at debauchery before the sinless God-zone of Utah. http://t.co/o2LP5Jpd
128: 2012-02-17: I wonder what Jesus' Facebook page would look like. Son of God, maybe, but look at those wild college pics!
129: 2012-02-06: The trouble with being a god or superhero is that people will eventually expect more of you than even you are capable of.
130: 2012-01-27: A godforsaken place like this needs one. (@ Largest Cross In The Western Hemisphere) [pic]: http://t.co/barmmz0E
131: 2012-01-17: RT @fujiwiryani: @BadDalaiLama just like Seth Godin said: we hafta know when to stop, and when to get thru the dip.
132: 2012-01-17: The preferred bikini bottom should fully contain the buttocks and follow the crease between thigh and torso, as this is what God intended.
133: 2012-01-12: The JetBlue gods were kind to me, gave me 3 seats across! Slept nearly 5 hours on a 5-hour flight. Missed my snacks and drinks!
134: 2011-12-23: @laurenahayes Saks is a ZOO http://t.co/1uQxgfV0 <== God, yes! It's worse than Walmart!
135: 2011-12-17: Who's standing up for the rights of the white, male, non-gay, non-disabled citizen? By God, I am! http://t.co/T1qC3LlF
136: 2011-12-10: To have absolute conviction there is no God requires a huge leap of faith.
137: 2011-12-07: Oh, thank God! http://t.co/Bh8Mk644
138: 2011-12-02: I don't believe in God, but I believe God believes in me.
139: 2011-11-29: RT @cottonmouth1: @BadDalaiLama ....God walks that beach.....awe-inspiring.
140: 2011-11-27: Californians put Christmas lights on palm trees with no sense of irony. It's just what God intended.
141: 2011-11-26: Writing and recording a song is a creative process. Performing it live is a religious one. People are worshipping the gods who made it.
142: 2011-11-24: At the Jesus Christ Is Lord Travel Center, they trust in God but you still have to pre-pay for gas. http://t.co/y5R2y4ia
143: 2011-11-18: RT @ScottSaab: Overheard today: I have the body of a God. A Buddhist one. @BadDalaiLama What say? :)
144: 2011-11-16: Egads! One Catholic saint may be a fake. Thank God they didn't have journalists back in the early days! http://t.co/ykRcuyUT
145: 2011-11-10: OMG! Pi = Pie! Maybe there is a God! http://t.co/dilxFAmw via @xtinewu
146: 2011-11-10: Even without a God, there can still be evil. Evil arises from an inconsistency between one part of you and another, called "bad faith".
147: 2011-11-10: Existentialism is the philosophy that says existence itself provides it's own meaning. You don't need gods, gurus or anything else.
148: 2011-11-05: Oh, you young Caucasian sun goddesses, soakin' up the rays, you're gonna freak when you see the prunes you turn into.
149: 2011-11-03: God. For those who won't be good unless they're under 24-hour surveillance.
150: 2011-10-31: @xtinewu Oh, God - The 1782 Gragnani!!!!! We can't let you have nice things if you're not going to take care of them!
151: 2011-10-20: Faith in God is really just faith that other people know more about God than you do.
152: 2011-10-08: The alternative to God is that you alone are responsible for your own decisions and fate—an intolerable position for most.
153: 2011-08-25: "Jerk" is pretty much synonymous with the 20s. If you survive to 30, you'll be thinking, "God, what an idiot I was!"
154: 2011-08-05: If you present yourself to the world as a god or goddess, you can expect to have stalkers, people who think you can solve their problems.
155: 2011-08-04: Paper or plastic? Paper is biodegradable but kills trees. Plastic is non-biodegradable but uses less landfill space. OH GOD I CAN'T DECIDE!
156: 2011-07-10: CURSE OF THE BIKINI! The first wearers of bikinis are now DYING IN ALARMING NUMBERS! They have shriveled up AS IF CURSED BY GOD!
157: 2011-07-01: Plant a tree and watch it grow. It used to sound fun. Then you realize, "My God, these things have to be maintained!"
158: 2011-06-28: Narcissists are not always grandiose or greedy. Some are pious, religious people who believe that God is there for them.
159: 2011-05-26: Between seeing your parents as gods and seeing them as ordinary people, there's a period of "Oh My God, how embarrassing!"
160: 2011-05-22: You Rapture believers, now you will suffer God's economic wrath!
161: 2011-05-12: Thank God for catastrophe! Without it, most people would never leave their safe zone.
162: 2011-05-04: RT @philoquotes: What do I care about Jupiter? Justice is a human issue, and I do not need a god to teach it to me. ~ Sartre http://bit. ...
163: 2011-05-01: If people need God to help them escape from evil, so be it. We shouldn't argue with what works.
164: 2011-04-18: Religion isn't about trusting God. It's about trusting that other people know more about God than you do.
165: 2011-04-16: If you are religious, then no matter how mundane and restricted your life may be, you can feel superior, because God knows you personally.
166: 2011-04-01: God intended pee to be dark golden yellow, not pale and clear. (It's in the Bible somewhere.)
167: 2011-03-29: Parents are taking on the role of God, and frankly most just aren't up to the task.
168: 2011-03-27: @KristenMissUSA @laurenahayes "lola!! What you doin woman?" <== Kristen, thank God you're here! She's trying to commit lolacide again!
169: 2011-03-13: Ambrosia, the perfect food of the gods, has been decoded by science! It's now available for retail purchase as the Nacho Cheese Dorito.
170: 2011-03-09: At first, we see our parents as gods, then we rebel. Only later do we see who they really are: kids themselves who got in over their head.
171: 2011-03-07: @huma_rashid “Oh, God, I love @BadDalaiLama.” <== And he loves you, too!
172: 2011-03-07: Religion is the refuge of the narcissist. There's no better support for your specialness than thinking God knows you personally.
173: 2011-03-07: Nuns and priests are highly narcissistic! They believe implicitly that God has chosen them and that their way of truth is the only one.
174: 2011-03-07: The ants must see us as gods. They can't fathom why we step on them, but they must figure it's part of our cosmic plan.
175: 2011-03-06: The trouble with being God is that when people start having faith in You, they stop taking responsibility for their own problems.
176: 2011-03-04: Hubris can take the form of humbly thanking God for your success then assuming that God is now on your side. (cc:@Wyrdmaven)
177: 2011-03-01: Information is a false god. Being deluged with it doesn't tell you what is most important.
178: 2011-02-23: Whatever dreaming is, it is not fatiguing. In a dream, you never say, "My God, I'm so tired!" You have the energy to do whatever you want!
179: 2011-02-18: Trying to figure out this whole "God" thing. (@ The Vatican w/ 2 others) http://4sq.com/fQzUq8
180: 2011-02-07: CORRECTION: Beauty pageants culminate with one girl saying, "Oh my God, I won!" and fifty others pretending to be SO happy for her.
181: 2011-02-07: Beauty pageants culminate with one girl saying, "Oh my God, I won!" and fifty others saying, "Fuck, I lost."
182: 2011-02-04: On My Bucket List: Dedicate my life to science... or medicine, or music, or animals, or God, or the Amazon rainforest... or SOMETHING!
183: 2011-01-29: Being God must really suck. No matter what you do, people get hurt.
184: 2011-01-14: When all else fails, try calling God.
185: 2011-01-08: Two dozen long-stemmed roses, Lady Godiva chocolates, diamond earrings, a pearl necklace... If that's not love, what is?
186: 2011-01-06: Sodom & Gomorrah, Jericho, the Great Flood, the Plagues of Egypt... Those were the good old days when God was vengeful and kept score.
187: 2010-12-28: CANTON, OHIO — I have the power of God at my fingertips! (short but electrifying video shot today) http://youtu.be/ozUkIw3Pi9Y (Video #26)
188: 2010-12-15: .@heckadecimal: "God, you're righteous.” <== I am not God, just a humble lama.
189: 2010-12-14: Thank God for breeders—people willing to put their lives on hold for 20 years to propagate our species. More power to 'em!
190: 2010-12-10: The first step in romance is the mythologizing of potential partners. They become perfect gods or goddesses capable of rescuing us.
191: 2010-11-14: The best thing about ghosts, gods, UFOs and psychic phenomena is they keep a low profile. They mostly leave us alone to live our own lives.
192: 2010-11-14: The agnostic says he doesn't know if there is a God. It is the only rational position given the lack of evidence.
193: 2010-11-14: The atheist says, with certainty, that there is no God. Only one thing can account for this absolute position: faith!
194: 2010-11-13: True atheists are rare. Even those who profess no faith in God may follow quasi-religious beliefs without proof—like belief in atheism.
195: 2010-11-12: The biggest cosmic joke of all would be that there is a God but He doesn't believe in you.
196: 2010-11-10: When you put your faith in God, you stop taking responsibility for your own problems.
197: 2010-11-06: God was invented to serve the ego of man.
198: 2010-10-31: You can pray to God for serenity but not for help. These are your problems, not His.
199: 2010-10-28: If you need religion to make sense of your life, so be it. Just don't go around thinking you are God's chosen one.
200: 2010-10-14: The root of religion isn't faith in God but faith that other people know more about God than you do.
201: 2010-10-11: People credit God for their good fortune so they don't have to think about who they hurt to obtain it.
202: 2010-10-08: Religion isn't so much a belief in God but in certain social policies, taken on faith, that limit the ways you can solve your problems.
203: 2010-10-04: Good working theory! MRT @kirkfranklin: God is either going to fix the situation, or use the situation as His tool to fix you (Romans:28).
204: 2010-09-27: The Christian God, if He is truly just, will probably cut you a break for not believing in Him as long as you've been good.
205: 2010-09-26: Atheism itself is a religion, based on assumptions taken on faith. How do you know there's no God?
206: KilroyCafe: 2010-09-12: Religion is the ultimate refuge of the narcissist: "God is there for ME."
207: KilroyCafe: 2010-09-07: Law is not something perfect and pure handed down by God. It is a flawed set of rules... (One of my better essays:) http://j.mp/akktLV
208: KilroyCafe: 2010-07-30: The most important responsibility of gods and aliens is to not give people false hope. The locals have to work things out for themselves.
209: KilroyCafe: 2010-07-14: Elvis, we love you! You were a pathetic wretch when alive, but now that you're dead, you're our god! (Best career move he ever made.)
210: KilroyCafe: 2010-07-13: If God hadn't given us religion, man would have made it up. Lucky we got God's version. Now, God, which religion is the best. Ours, right?
211: KilroyCafe: 2010-07-02: Only those without morality need a God to give it to them.
212: KilroyCafe: 2010-07-01: "Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does, the better." - Andréide via @tweetsayings
213: KilroyCafe: 2010-06-30: Catholic Church — cult known for its inquisitions, crusades, breeding of pedophiles and opposition to birth control, all in the name of God.
214: KilroyCafe: 2010-06-21: The trouble with being a god or superhero is that people will eventually expect more of you than you're capable of.
215: KilroyCafe: 2010-06-05: The biggest cosmic joke of all would be that God exists but He couldn't care less about us. We would be alone after all!
216: KilroyCafe: 2010-06-05: The ants must see us as gods. They can't fathom why we step on them, but they must figure it's part of our cosmic plan.
217: KilroyCafe: 2010-05-28: The trouble with being God is that when people start having faith in You, they stop taking responsibility for their own problems.
218: KilroyCafe: 2010-04-25: I've learned to stop being angry when Facebook "fixes" things that weren't broken, thereby breaking more things. You have to trust in God!
219: KilroyCafe: 2010-04-03: Let us honor the Ancient Ones, our elders who came upon this land and built great monuments to the gods of Fast Food and Retail Sales.
220: KilroyCafe: 2010-03-29: God is a crutch for people who have nothing else to go on.
221: KilroyCafe: 2010-03-15: Atheism itself is a religion, based on assumptions taken on faith. How do you know there's no God? Agnostic is better: We just don't know.
222: KilroyCafe: 2010-03-15: @YouGoChavez "I respectfully disagree... atheism is not religion, it is the antithesis to religion." So how do you prove there is no God?
223: KilroyCafe: 2010-03-10: God was invented to serve the ego of man.
224: KilroyCafe: 2010-03-09: Religion isn't just a belief in God but in certain social policies, taken on faith, that limit the ways you can solve your problems.
225: KilroyCafe: 2010-03-06: I don't believe in God but act like I do. It's the best of both worlds!
226: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-28: You never want to marry someone who worships you as a god, because your powers of rescue will never match their expectations of it.
227: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-19: Doesn't it seem a little presumptuous to pray to God and ask him to do stuff? Shouldn't He know the right thing to do without our advice?
228: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-17: In Florida, live-tweeting alligator biting off my arm. Guess what guys?! I have a new tweeting hand! (Thank God it didn't get my B'berry!)
229: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-17: If God had intended us to have more than 140 characters, He would have given us Google Buzz.
230: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-16: Oxymoron alert: "Christian existentialism" (The core idea of existentialism is that you don't need a God to tell you what to do.)
231: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-14: Consumers assume that something sealed in a pretty plastic package is somehow pure, but some god-awful things can come in those packages.
232: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-13: It seems presumptuous to say "God Bless America" or "God Save the Queen". Shouldn't He already know what to do without your advice?
233: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-07: Thank God for breeders! Without them, our species would have perished long ago. Now, how do we get them to stop?
234: KilroyCafe: 2010-02-04: If you're Christian and you sin, but you repent later, God will forgive you. Doesn't this give you permission to sin right now?
235: KilroyCafe: 2010-01-25: A godsend to obsessive-compulsives: the automatic toilet seat cover! http://bit.ly/7PCAtd - Seen at O'Hare Airport.
236: KilroyCafe: 2010-01-23: People who believe that God is with them usually get themselves into god-awful messes.
237: KilroyCafe: 2009-12-01: RT @aedison: The best thing about God is how all His rewards can apparently be so easily expressed in human terms.
238: KilroyCafe: 2009-11-27: Americans like to thank God for the things they stole from others. It's much easier than thanking, say, the Native Americans.
239: KilroyCafe: 2009-11-27: People credit God for their good fortune so they don't have to think about who they hurt to obtain it.
240: KilroyCafe: 2009-11-26: Here's today's script: You're thankful for X, Y & Z. You pray for our troops overseas. You say "God Bless America!" Now eat.
241: KilroyCafe: 2009-11-06: The root of religion isn't so much faith in God but faith that other people know more about God than you do.
242: KilroyCafe: 2009-10-07: If you trust in God and human authority, you're going to be blindsided by the world because you didn't understand what was really going on.
243: KilroyCafe: 2009-09-26: The biggest cosmic joke of all would be that there is a God but He isn't listening to your prayers and couldn't care less about you.
244: KilroyCafe: 2009-09-22: If you think you need religion to make sense of your life, so be it. Just don't go around thinking you're God's chosen one.
245: KilroyCafe: 2009-08-28: Why do we have to say, "God Bless America" -- or God Bless anything? Doesn't He know what to do without our advice?
246: KilroyCafe: 2009-07-28: It can be a great ego boost to know you chose the right religion and that God loves you the best. Lucky you!
247: KilroyCafe: 2009-07-09: In fundamentalist religion, what is billed as "trust in God" is really just trust in the word of other people.
248: KilroyCafe: 2009-07-07: "Self-Proclaimed Prophet Blames God" for sex charges (Las Vegas) http://bit.ly/10sBmQ - Just your run-of-the-mill neighborhood cult leader.
249: KilroyCafe: 2009-06-27: When Satan comes to Earth, he usually appears as a man of God.
250: KilroyCafe: 2009-06-13: Thank God for the breeders, people willing to put their lives on hold for 20 years to propagate our species. Without them where would we be?
251: KilroyCafe: 2009-06-05: When people don't have adequate witnesses, they invent them. God is one. Conspiracies are another.
252: KilroyCafe: 2009-05-31: What happened to the gold tablets written in Reformed Egyptian after Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon from them? God took em back!
253: KilroyCafe: 2009-05-27: Atheists are boring. LA Times http://bit.ly/fRApW - "atheists are intent on proving that God not only doesn't exist but is evil to boot."
254: KilroyCafe: 2009-05-24: I'm enjoying my first-ever gay nightclub (in Reno). Actually my first-ever NIGHTCLUB! Thank God I brought my handy-dandy foam earplugs!
255: KilroyCafe: 2009-05-21: So where did life come from? Did God make it? I don't know, but it's irrelevant. All that matters is what you do, what you choose.
256: KilroyCafe: 2009-05-21: The philosophy of EXISTENTIALISM says the answers to life's questions come from life itself, not from any outside authority (God, etc.)
257: KilroyCafe: 2009-05-21: Will there be a reward in Heaven? Don't count on it. You do good on this planet because it makes sense, not because of what God might do.
258: KilroyCafe: 2009-05-10: Thank God for delusional thinking, bad planning, alcohol and failed condoms. Without them, there might be no mothers.
259: KilroyCafe: 2009-05-05: The rules of life come from life itself, from what you see and experience. You don't need a god to tell you what works and what doesn't.
260: KilroyCafe: 2009-04-28: The Onion: "God Makes Surprise Visit To Local Church" http://bit.ly/ugVNX - Nothing so disrupts religion!
260 tweets found.

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